


Even If It Involves the Wilderness

by astudyinfic



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Camping, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Road Trips, Zane is a good husband, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/astudyinfic
Summary: "Next time... next time I need to go, will you go with me?""Yeah.""Even if it involves the wilderness?"~ ~ ~Ty needs to go and true to his word, Zane goes with him.
Relationships: Zane Garrett/Ty Grady
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	Even If It Involves the Wilderness

Zane saw the signs coming but try as he might, there was nothing he could do to stop it. It hurt to see the problem but be powerless to do anything but watch it happen. Every night he hoped maybe it would just go away, that some resolution would be found that wouldn’t result in catastrophe. But as the days carried on, Zane could see there was only one way forward. It wouldn’t be pretty but he vowed to be there to the bitter end. He owed Ty that much. 

The inevitable finally happened at three in the morning. Having seen the signs, Zane slept lighter, knowing what happened the last time, when he’d ignored every instinct he had, telling himself there was still time. Now he knew better and wouldn’t let it happen without a fight. 

A finger poked him in the side of the ribs, so light that Zane could have convinced himself he imagined it if not for the fact that he’d been waiting for it to happen for days.

Ty started to pull away but Zane grabbed his hand before he could leave their bed. “Ty, you promised.”

“I know, baby. I know. But I’ve got to go.” 

The pain in his voice broke Zane’s heart and he sat up, already shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant, doll. You promised I’d go with you next time. The car is packed. We can go anywhere, for as long as you need.” He didn’t understand half of what Ty went through in his life, he didn’t understand the demons that haunted him that made him want to run. But Zane would be damned if he let his husband go through it alone. 

Ty surged forward and kissed him firmly. “I love you, Lone Star. Get your ass in gear. And you’re the one who calls in and tells them the shop is closed.”

Zane grabbed the clothes he’d set aside for this moment and threw them on, hurrying to get his feet into his boots and get downstairs. While he felt reasonably confident Ty wouldn’t drive off without him, he also knew that in this state, calling Ty unpredictable would be an understatement. It was better to keep his husband in sight at all times, at least until they were in the car. He didn’t know where Ty wanted to go, what to plan for, but Zane would be there beside him every step of the way, just like he promised. 

Even if it involved the wilderness. 

Ty already had the car running when Zane locked the door to the shop. In the back window of the Mustang, Jiminy and Cricket’s faces peeked out at him, barely visible in the pre-dawn light. Leave it to Ty to try to sneak out before sunrise. At least they would beat rush hour out of town. 

Folding himself into the tight space of the Mustang (which was obviously not built for two men their size but Zane never complained considering how bright Ty smiled when he spoke of his car), Ty peeled out the moment Zane’s door was closed. “Slow down there, Meow Mix. You don’t want your kitties to go flying out the back, do you?” A glance behind him showed both cats looking absolutely serene despite the high speeds they were at, hurtling down the Fells Point streets.

Early morning commuters were the only other ones on the road and they flew past all of them, with no heed to speed limits or other traffic laws. Considering the number of things they got away with due to their jobs, there was no chance a speeding ticket would ever stick. The CIA would have it vanished before they returned from wherever they were going. But Zane still held onto the door, knuckles white. He was doing better in cars but sometimes he still had flashes of that taxi coming after them on that New York highway. Only when they were out of the city limits and heading south towards DC and Virginia, did Zane ask, “Any idea where we are going?” It could be just to drive around for a few hours. It could be to head home to Bluefield. For all Zane knew, they’d be in Texas by lunch tomorrow. 

Ty just shrugged, glancing at Zane and his death grip on the door, before putting his eyes back on the road and letting up on the gas a bit. “Hadn’t thought that far ahead. What did you pack?”

“Food for the two of us and the cats for at least three days. Clothes for any number of climates. The camping gear from Yellowstone in case you weren’t joking about the wilderness. And several of our weapons because this is us and odds are better than good that we’ll need a gun at least once on this trip.”

Cracking a smile a that, Ty reached over and took Zane’s hand, squeezing it lightly. “Thank you for coming with me.” 

Zane could hear all the unspoken emotion in those few words and he squeezed Ty’s hand in return. “Nowhere else I’d rather be, doll.” The words were the absolute truth and he felt Ty’s hand relax in his own. Zane would go anywhere with Ty. He’d climbed mountains and jumped off the tallest heights. He’d take a bullet or a knife or a bomb if it kept his husband safe. A road trip to god knows where to let Ty clear his head was nothing. “You know I’d never leave you alone in the dark.”

“Those were my vows, Zane, not yours.” Zane stuck out his tongue at Ty, laughing lightly to himself. He could still see the lines of tension around Ty’s eyes, the too-tight set of his jaw. But he was relaxing with every mile they put between themselves and Baltimore. Zane didn’t know what had finally been the breaking point for Ty. He didn’t even know what had been the starting point. It was something he intended to ask once they got to their destination for the day. Or maybe when they got back home.

They drove straight through DC, Ty cursing the traffic under his breath which was significantly heavier here in the capital. Enough people were up and on the road now to slow them down and Zane wished they’d been heading some other direction, not south. The point of the trip was to avoid stress, not encounter more of it. They both let out a breath when they left the city and its chaos behind and continued into the green highways of Virginia.

Ty started to relax as they drove, humming a tune under his breath, something Zane hadn’t heard for over a week. It drove home just how stressed Ty had been, seeing it finally slip off his shoulders. The windows rolled down to let in the unseasonably warm April air. Zane rested his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, listening to the tires rolling over asphalt and his husband’s hummed tune. If Zane could pick a perfect day, this was pretty close to it. The only thing that would make it better was knowing that Ty was as content as he was.

Though Ty was already looking better and for that Zane was thankful. He didn’t know what Ty needed from him other than to be there so he didn’t force any conversation, happy to simply ride in silence. 

After another thirty minutes Ty turned off the main road. At first, Zane thought he was pulling over as there was nothing around them but trees, trees and more trees. But as he looked, he saw that there was indeed a small road there, half overgrown and he wondered if the Mustang would be able to make it down the road without getting stuck. He was half-surprised when it actually did, eventually opening into a small clearing, with a river bracketing one side and trees all around.

“I warned you,” Ty said with a sad smile when he turned off the car. “Wilderness.”

“And I told you, I don’t care. As long as I am with you, that is all that matters, Ty.”

Ty leaned across the car and gave him a quick kiss before getting out and summoning both his cats to him with a click of his tongue. They came to him, stretching and yawning as they did. Ty hooked them both into their harnesses and then let them explore the area before tying their leads to a tree so they could set up came without worrying about either of them wandering off. 

“Think you can build a fire, Lone Star?” Ty asked, the smirk clear in his voice, even as he was elbow deep in the trunk, pulling out everything Zane had packed for them. 

“I grew up on a ranch. Of course, I can build a fire.” They might not have done a lot of camping growing up, but there were plenty of bonfires. Fires for the groups that came through to do overnights on the ranch and campfires for the hands that liked the drink and burn things on their off nights. Zane was well acquainted with that part of camping. 

He left Ty to get the gear and start with the tent while he went to find firewood and rocks. It looked like a fire ring was already there, though time and the elements had worn it down. Zane took some time cleaning out the dried leaves and debris then placing the rocks back into the circle when they belonged. He heard Ty banging around, probably wrestling with the tent poles but unless his husband asked for help, Zane intended to ignore his grumbling. He didn’t relish getting his head bitten off for offering help with Ty didn’t need it. He was better about it these days but in his state of mind, Zane figured it was safer for everyone this way. 

By the time the first sparks were burning in the fire ring, he heard Ty’s triumphant crow and turned around to see the small tent they’d brought with them. It was hardly big enough for two men their size as well as the cats, but they were more than okay getting up close and personal. The look in Ty’s eyes when he met Zane’s said that he was thinking exactly the same thing.

Ty looked more relaxed as the minutes ticked by and Zane was relieved that this might actually work. He still didn’t know what it was that had been eating at Ty. Work was chaotic, sure, but it hadn’t been any worse than any other week. They had been going nonstop for a while now, though, and despite the fact that he knew Ty better than anyone in the world, there were still parts of his husband’s mind that he would never understand. (Zane liked to think of those parts as the ones guarded by squirrels juggling chainsaws.) He believed Ty when he said he’d told Zane everything, there was no distrust between them. But knowing everything and living it first hand were very different and Zane could only offer comfort when it all got to be too much inside his husband’s head.

Zane threw a few more logs on the fire and went to see if he could help Ty who was unloading the sleeping bags and other equipment. “What do you think, Lone Star? One big sleeping bag or two individual ones.”

Raising a brow, Zane shook his head. Just the fact that Ty thought he had to ask that question reminded him that Ty wasn’t completely back to his old self. “If you have no objections, I think you know that my answer would be one big one.” Zane slept better when he was holding Ty and he knew the same was true for his husband. “If you would feel better having a little more space, I definitely understand. This is about whatever you need, doll. I’m just along for the ride.”

Ty’s hazel eyes studied him for a long moment until he nodded and dragged two sleeping bags out of the back of the car. He immediately unzipped them both and started zipping them together as one. There was definitely a reason they bought that style, Zane thought with a smile. At least Ty wasn’t in a mindset where he wanted Zane to leave him alone completely. He would, if that was what Ty needed, but Zane much preferred this.

Glancing at the car, Zane stifled a laugh before saying, “You know, Meow Mix. I think I prefer this style of camping. Knowing the car is right there and we can go for help if needed is a lot better than dragging your sorry ass through the woods because you became a kitty treat.”

“I can unzip those sleeping bags as easily as I zipped them up, Garrett. Then you can sleep in the car for all I care.” There was a little bite to the words and Zane worried for a moment that he’d pushed Ty too far. But then Ty smirked and Zane could only roll his eyes in return.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in quiet contentment, gathering more wood to keep the fire going long into the night, Zane reading and Ty playing with his cats. By the time the sun set and they were eating dinner, Zane could tell that Ty was well on his way to having worked through everything that had been weighing him down. He was constantly amazed at how resilient Ty was. He could bounce back from practically everything if given the time and space necessary for him to do so. 

Zane didn't think he could love the man even more. But he would spend the rest of his life trying. 

After dinner, they sat by the fire, Ty mindlessly poking at it while Zane stared up at the stars that were just visible through the canopy of trees. He supposed they were lucky that Ty's almost breakdown happened now, when the weather was pleasant, as opposed to in the middle of the winter when they would be fighting Ty's inner demons and the cold. 

In the peace of that moment, Zane asked, "Is there anything I can do to help you, doll?"

Ty looked up at him, confused for a moment and shook his head. "I'm poking the fire, Zane. I think I can handle that."

Zane honestly couldn't tell if he was being willfully obtuse or honestly thought that was what Zane was asking but Zane sighed and moved to sit closer to him. "I meant, when things get bad up there," - he tapped Ty's temple lightly with a finger - "is there anything more that I can do for you? Even if it is just being your punching back at the Company gym, or leaving you alone to play with your kitties. Whatever it is, you know I would do it for you, Ty."

“I know, Zane.” Any teasing was gone from his voice and when Ty looked him in the eye, all Zane could see was sincerity and love shining back on him. “Sometimes I don’t even know what I need. Like this morning. I just knew I needed to go and needed to go right then. But you already knew that. You’d planned for it and were willing to come with me. Seriously, Zane. No one has ever done that for me before. I don’t have to tell you what I need from you because you already know it.” Ty closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Zane’s shoulder. 

Opening up like this was never easy for either of them and Zane appreciated that Ty was doing it for him. “Okay,” he said, wrapping an arm around Ty’s waist to pull him closer. “Just let me know if something changes and I don’t already know it.”

Ty chuckled but didn’t look up. “You’ll know it before I do. You’re smart like that, darlin’.”

“Was that a compliment?” 

“Yeah and you know it was. Don’t go fishing for more of them.”

Zane chuckled and shook his head. He thought Ty gave him too much credit. He liked to believe that he knew Ty well enough that he wouldn't need his husband to tell him when something was wrong but he also knew that they were both highly skilled at hiding their emotions and sometimes, they could even fool the other. Even when they weren't trying to do it. "Still, promise me? If I don't look like I'm getting it, I would rather you tell me than know later on that you were suffering alone."

"As long as you promise me the same thing." 

Nearly flinching from that, Zane managed to hold it in but he did nod, accepting Ty's terms. While he didn't have the same issues, he had ones of his own that could bring him low with little to no warning. "It's a deal, doll. I'll tell you when things get bad and you tell me."

Ty grinned and held out his hand to shake. Rolling his eyes at his husband's antics, Zane still shook Ty's hand to seal the deal. "Now that we have that out of the way," Ty said, the normal teasing glint back in his eyes. "What do you say you and I go christen that tent?"

"You, me, and the two cats? I don't think so, Meow Mix. I don't like them watching when we're at home, let alone less than a foot away."

"So...no sex until we get home?"

"That's the way I'm seeing it." Zane didn't like it any more than Ty did but he also wasn't going to risk his more sensitive areas if they decided to get playful.

Ty frowned, clearly calculating his options. "If...if I lock them in the car for an hour, they should be fine. It's not hot now that the sun's gone done. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

Zane barked a laugh, earning an eye roll from Ty. "You would lock up your cats for an hour to have sex?"

"What can I say? I kinda like you and that ass of yours."

"So romantic."

Ty elbowed Zane in the side, who humphed and tried to move away. "You love me."

"I do," Zane agreed. "It's nice to have you back, Ty."

"Nice to be back," Ty said with absolute sincerity. "Now, about that tent..."

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [tumblr](http://astudyinfic.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/astudyinfic)
> 
> Also, we made a [Cut & Run discord channel](https://discord.gg/KFfErkb) if anyone is interested in joining and yelling at us about the books we all love.


End file.
